Making a Memorial Display for Leah Grace

This Sunday marks one year since Leah Grace went to be with Jesus. I've wanted to make a special display area in my home that I could display some pictures and other items from her birthday, March 20 through the 99 days until the day of her passing, June 27. Finally today I finished making the collage picture and got it up in our dining room with some other pictures. The memory photo box contains a couple favorite pictures, a mold of her little feet and one of the little knit hats she wore in the hospital. All very precious things and something to hang on to as a special way to remember a very special little granddaughter.

Remembering Leah

This day has been so beautiful. The first day of spring, almost 70 degrees outside-- lots of time spent outside today. This is also Leah's birthday. I'm glad she was born on the first day of spring. There will always be so much more meaning to this day now. Her life was so special and even though some of the memories will fade, she will never be forgotten. Looking forward to the day when we will see each other again brings such a sense of happiness. I was at coffee today with my oldest two daughters and we were rehearsing the day Leah was born. Waiting for hours and hours at the hospital and finally getting a peek at that precious little one. I remember being struck with what an absolutely beautiful baby she was. It seemed like right from the start that God's hand was on this little life and He would use her to bless many people. I didn't feel sadness today, really, it was mostly just a review of the specialness of her life. Much to give thanks for, much to remember -- precious Leah.

Surprise of Spring

Today as I started out on my usual morning walk, I was feeling weary of the cold, drizzly, dark days. Just as I was thinking it was never going to end, and spring was still a long way off, I was literally smacked in the face by a low branch on a tree. Guess what was there on that branch? Several small pink flowers just opening up. It was an announcement: Spring is just around the corner! I was so amazed. It's only January 16 and already I'm seeing signs of spring. I love the change of seasons. Each one has a certain delight and variety. But here in the Portland area, winter means mostly dark rainy days. I could wish for the snow of my childhood days in Minnesota but then again, if I lived in that northern state I would not be enjoying those early signs of spring like I did today. So after that run in with spring, the rest of my walk was a search for other signs. They were there: heather in bloom, daffodil spikes already several inches tall, buds on many plants starting to swell. Spring will burst out into song soon and I will be watching.

Trying to perfect my bread

I started making bread the first year we were married. So that means I have over 30 years of bread making experience. Now I don't make all our bread but I do bake a few loaves pretty much every week. My family's favorite is potato bread. I love any bread that has a crusty outside and a soft chewy inside. When I started baking bread back in the 70's my goal was to get really good at it. I don't think I've reached that level yet but most of my bread does turn out. Lately I've been trying to duplicate the kind of bread you get at Panera Bread. For those of you who have never been to Panera or don't have one in your area, I think it's my favorite place to get a wonderful lunch. Their soup is fabulous and so is the bread. It's crusty, chewy and soft -- just like I want my bread to be. So yesterday I spent some time reading about making bread that way. Then I practiced. The bread did have a good crisp crust and the inside was soft, but it still didn't quite make the grade. My family says they hope I just have to keep trying because they are loving sampling it all!

A New Year

The move from 2009 to 2010 feels different this year. We are in Spokane which in itself makes it different. It's relaxing to be away. I have slept in, worked on a few projects that rarely get any time devoted to them, visited with a lot of family and just enjoyed being away. It's been relaxing. Right now with only 6 hours left of 2009 I'm sitting and reflecting on this past year. 2009 will always be forever Leah Grace's year. It was the year of her very short but very special 99 day life. Her life was a gracious gift from God even though very difficult. There's a sense of wanting to hang on to 2009 just for that reason. But time marches on. 2010 will undoubtedly also bring many unforseen things. I don't fear or worry though, God is in control and I rest in the one who knows what is best for my life. That's comfort and hope for 2010. Happy New Year everyone.

Reflections of Christmas Past

Here it is almost the end of Christmas 2009. Christmas day will end in just a few hours. Since the house has been pretty quiet for the last couple hours I've had a little time to reflect on this Christmas. In some ways it's been one of our most enjoyable. Sure, the days leading up to Christmas were excessively busy. As usual I took on too much. With 4 children still living at home the schedule seemed so hectic. But as crazy as it got, there was also something so special about all the family around and all the family events that happened. Yesterday, as I sat at the table and looked around at all my immediate family members sitting there, I felt so blessed. Last night we had a Christmas eve service at our church. It was so very simple. A few carols sung, a passage from the Christmas story read aloud, another story that portrayed the emotion of the season and then a time of candle lighting and sharing brought the true message of Christmas to the forefront. It is all about Christ. It is the miraculous and almost unbelievable story of a baby born for one reason -- to take the sins of the world on himself and redeem mankind. What a gift to us. So as I wrap up Christmas 2009, I'm thankful all over again for the things that I'm always reminded of at Christmas time; a wonderful story of redemption, and the blessing of family. So for the last time this year -- Merry Christmas.

Christmas Open House

You are all invited to a Christmas Open House on Thursday, December 17, from 10:00 a.m. until 1:00. There will be tea and coffee (made by Starbucks barista, Callie) and other goodies to munch on. Tour my home all decked out for Christmas. You can see my quilt studio (hopefully all neat and tidy)! My chickens will even by on display (in their pen). Come help me celebrate the season.

Self Photo

I was taking pictures of some quilts this morning when I decided to take a picture of myself. I see all these young people on facebook doing this so I thought I'd try it. It turned out to be a hilarious experience. After about 25 tries I finally decided that I'm not very photogenic. Sometimes my eyes looked like they were bugging out of my head! Some pictures featured way too much of my nose or an angle that appeared to be looking up my nose! My glasses reflected the flash and without the flash the shadows appeared to make me look about 100. Anyway, no one was home to hear me laughing until my sides ached. So much for my own entertainment!

Another Canning Day

When turkeys go on sale, I tend to buy several. It seems like too good a deal to pass up. The problem is, we really don't like turkey! So I'm always presented with a dilemna. Do I cook up the turkey, knowing that whatever is not eaten initially will not be eaten as refrigerated or freezer leftovers. So this year I tried something new -- I canned turkey. Yes, you heard it right, canned turkey. It's pretty much a day long chore, but it's worth it because we love canned turkey. I start early in the morning with a thawed turkey and get it in the largest pot available (it has to be huge for those 20+ pound turkeys). The turkey is covered with water and then salt and other spices are added (this time it was thyme, summer seasoning and poultry seasoning). The turkey is simmered for 1 1/2 hours. You don't want to overcook. In fact undercooked is better since it will be processed in a pressure canner so long that it will finish it's cooking in the jars. After the turkey is cooked, I set it out on a tray and let it cool for about 45 minutes before I start deboning the meat. That's the messy part and least liked by me. I filled a large bowl with all the meat. Then the meat is packed in a jar, 1 tsp. salt added for each quart (1/2 tsp. for pints), boiling water poured over the meat with a 1" head space and it's processed at 10 pounds pressure for 90 minutes. Best of all it's delicious. We use it in soups, for casseroles and any other recipe calling for precooked chicken. One word of warning with processing meats, after 90 minutes of pressure it takes a long time, I mean a long time, for the pressure to drop in the canner and jars. Don't be in a hurry to get them out. I didn't take my jars out for almost 2 hours after the canner came off the stove and even 4 hours later the jars were still bubbling inside. Tomorrow I'll clean the outisde of each jar, label and date them and store them for those cold winter nights when nothing is better than a bowl of steaming hot turkey soup!

Time Away

I leave this week for a quilt retreat. My sister is hosting the retreat at her home so I will also have the chance to spend some time with my Mom & Dad. I'm really looking forward to time away. In the last several months I have made a purposeful step to slow the pace of my life down. I made a list of all the things I have been or could be committed to. These included many things that I was involved in last year as well as some things that people had recently asked me to do. I decided that I could only commit to 2 or 3 things. Then I prioritized my list. It was hard to give up some things that I really do love, but I felt God's prompting to simplify and slow down my life even if it meant giving up some really good things. About the same time I did this, Rick's Dad had a heart attack while on vacation in Salt Lake City. He still isn't home (but it looks like it may be this week) and now it's been over 40 days and it's meant two trips for Rick to Salt Lake City as well as lots of other issues to deal with. I have realized that clearing my schedule of some of the clutter was a good thing to be available more here at home while Rick deals with travel and other arrangements that are needed for his parents.

So now it's finally time for me to get a little break. I will have a much needed visit with my parents, spend time with my sisters and maybe another family member or two and get some fun of a little quilting time.

Missing Leah

Today I missed Leah more than usual. Maybe it was working on a dress for my other precious granddaughter that made me think about Leah. Maybe it was looking at pictures of her. I keep her picture as my backdrop on my cell phone so everyday I see her. This afternoon when I was laying down (yes, I often take naps), I could almost hear her little seizure noises. I know I don't feel even half the emptiness that Kristine or Luke does, but it still feels like a wound that is not easily healed. It does make me long for heaven. To see Leah will be a joy that will only be unequaled by the joy of seeing my Savior.

Fridays

Fridays are wonderful. The kids are in school and it's Rick's day off. That combination makes for a fun, relaxing day. Today we had our coffee and tea out by the chicken coop. Watching their antics and enjoying a good conversation is a great start to a Friday. We usually go out to lunch of Friday. Today it is Panera Bread, one of our favorite places. The rest of the day will be filled with yard work, a trip to Home Depot and more home projects. I find myself looking forward to Fridays all week.

Getting Old

Today was a realization of my age. I spent some time today looking at assisted living facilities online for my father and mother-in-law. When Dad gets out of the hospital in the next week or two he most likely will have to be in an assisted living center. It was my first exposure to these kinds of places. I can see a complicated decision for Rick's family in the near future.

Then this morning I started cleaning out our homeschool cabinet. We have not used many things in there for the last 3 or 4 years so it was time to empty it out, throw a lot away, give some of it to my granddaughter and just rearrange. It took a lot of time and it was like walking down memory lane. There were many things from preschool years with the children. Crayons, stamps, clay, stencils, etc. All things that saw a lot of use, was it just yesterday or years ago. In my mind I see Kate sitting at the table coloring or making a book with stamps and construction paper. Some of those treasures surfaced today. It made me feel old. My oldest child is nearing 30. How did that happen. My youngest will be an official teenager in just a couple months. Did I just jump over a few years, not pass go and not collect the money! It sure feels like it.

So in a state of depression I drove to the grocery store to buy cat food and while I was there I decided to pick up a six pack. No, not your usual six pack, but a six pack of diet Dr. Pepper. My favorite soda. I figured I could go home, have one for lunch with chips and then hide the rest so none of my kids would say it's not fair that I got pop and they didn't. That's an old parenting technique that goes back a long ways.

On the drive home, I'm feeling depressed, feeling old and tired and I see a bumper sticker on the car ahead of me. It says, "Inside every old person is a young person" . Wow, I think, that is certainly true. Then I get closer and read the small print. "Inside every old person is a young person, wondering how it happened". I laugh the rest of the way home!

Prayer

These thoughts come from Garry Friesen, a professor at Multnomah University, that he wrote concerning prayer. It really resonated with me so I thought I would share them on my blog.

"Worship songs often bid my heart to sing, but not all of them. Very little in me resonates with the song “Sweet Hour of Prayer.” I’m slowly learning to pray, but when I pray for an hour it rarely feels “sweet”. For me the title is “Slaving Hour of Prayer” or worse, “Sleep during the Hour of Prayer.” An hour of prayer for me most resembles a wrestling match. Like Jacob wrestling with the angel. And I long declare like Jacob, “I will not let you leave until you bless me.” I long to kneel like Epaphras who “agonized in prayer” for the Colossians. Why is the high privilege of prayer so difficult? At Christ’s death the veil in the temple was torn from top to bottom and symbolized that we have free access into the Holy of Holies. Why do my feet hesitate rather than running in and taking hold of the mercy seat? I do not know, but I have an inkling. Perhaps prayer is the the most face to face battle with the enemy of our souls, the great dragon, the serpent of old and no one wants to look a powerful enemy in the eyes. Perhaps prayer is the most absolute act of faith. In prayer my feet go nowhere, but must stand on faith alone. My hands make nothing, but must simply be lifted in utter dependence. My voice does not speak for influence, but must cry out to an invisible Sovereign in childlike weakness. Prayer is a horrible reminder that without Him I can do nothing. “Sovereign Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief.”

New Home for the Chickens

I didn't know I would enjoy these chickens so much. But then my mother tells me it's in the family history. My grandmother loved chickens and usually kept several around. So I guess it's in the genes. I have enjoyed taking care of them and just watching them. Because we got them when only one week old they are very tame. One will jump onto my lap whenever I'm sitting in the chicken run. And speaking of the chicken coop and run -- it's nearly complete. We moved the chickens in last week. It was an event. After getting it all set up, we each got a chicken, paraded across the yard, had our picture taken, and then proceeded to introduce the chickens to their new home. They seem to love it. Room to run, room to peck and do all the things chickens do. I'm so thankful I have a husband who can build such a thing. It turned out perfect. My chickens are happy in their new home and I'm happy being a chicken owner!