Saying Goodbye

How does one say goodbye? It can be a wave of the hand or a warm embrace. A goodbye is often filled with tears or the uncertainty of wondering when you might see someone again. There is a lot of emotion in a goodbye in a loved one's death. Today I am filled with that emotion. We had a memorial service for little Leah Grace. She lived for 99 days. Her life was brief but her impact powerful. Her story and life was watched and followed by hundreds of people. She was a fighter. Not expected to live beyond hours, she defied all predictions and lived 99 days. Her service today was a wonderful celebration of her life. Many people came to say goodbye. Some of the sharing from friends and family brought on tears. Callie (my daughter), wrote a song, a lullaby that she performed. Charissa, (another daughter), did the video/slide presentation of Leah. Both were beautiful and filled with emotion. Rick spoke from both a pastor and grandpa's heart. Kristine shared some journal entries that were written in such a beautiful way from a mother's heart. Luke shared with emotion the journey he has been on, and as his mother, it was so very touching. My way to say goodbye, was to create a beautiful quilt with photos of Leah. For all of us it was a tender goodbye to Leah Grace.

Life and Death - A Tribute to Leah Grace Jarmer

I have read that between 150,000 and 250,000 people die each day. Most days I don't think about death and most days I would not know even one of that large number. But today is a day that death touched my world. Today my granddaughter, Leah Grace, died. Even to write those words seems hard. She lived for 99 days. That alone is a miracle since medically speaking she was not even supposed to make it to term much less live that many days. I am so thankful for 99 days. It wasn't enough time for her to accomplish very much physically and yet she may have accomplished more in those 99 days than most people would in 99 years. Her life and struggle became known to many many people. The lessons she taught me were significant, life-changing lessons.

Leah taught me about the value of life. God valued her life even though it was not perfect. Sometime in the last few weeks I read in Luke 18 about the time that the disciples rebuked people for bringing their babies to Jesus and Jesus replies, "don't forbid them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these". Now the kingdom of heaven does truly belong to Leah.

Leah taught me about the value of prayer. I truly believe Leah's gift of 99 days to her family was God's answer to many prayers. God orchestrated in a beautiful way both Leah's birth and her death. Lately we had prayed that Leah's death would be in the arms of a parent and it was. We prayed that both Luke & Kristine would be home with her when she passed and they were. We prayed that Kyla would not have to see the death of her little sister, she was at her other grandma's when Leah passed. We prayed that Luke and Kristine would reach a point of letting go and giving her 'permission' to go be with Jesus. Just the day before Kristine was able to tell Leah, "it's okay to go be with Jesus". Prayer is powerful.

Leah taught me of boldness. I have never been a very bold person in regards to sharing my faith. I'm still not, but Leah's life provided many opportunities to tell of God's faithfulness and love. It is because of our faith that we can endure and walk through this time. Leah was and is a door opener into people's spiritual lives.

Leah taught me of love and selflessness. Her whole live was a huge lesson on unconditional love. She needed total care and our love when she could give nothing in return. The sacrifices that Luke and Kristine made daily spoke volumes to me of the kind of love our heavenly Father has for us. Leah's life brought God glory in that He created her just as she was, it was in God's perfect plan that allowed us to have and love Leah Grace for 99 days.

Leah's life brought hope. The ultimate hope for believers in Jesus is an eternity in heaven. When Leah was first born and we did not think her life would be more than a few days, I was reading one day about King David in the Old Testament and the baby that was born to him and several days later died. He fasted and prayed while the baby lived and pleaded with God to spare his life. When he died, he got up, ate and went and sat in the temple and worshipped God. Those around him were surprised at his reaction but his response was, "the child will no longer come to me, but I will go to him". We will see Leah again in heaven. The reality and truth of that thought gives me comfort and hope.

Leah's life was a lesson in God's sovereignty. Before Leah was born, Luke and I had a dialogue about choices. There are choices we make in life that are high cost and choices that are low cost. Some things we choose have a great impact in life and some a very small impact. Who I choose to marry greatly affects the rest of my life. What I choose to eat for lunch probably only affects how much weight I gain! There are many things, though, where we have no choice in the matter -- God chooses for us. What happens especially in life and death is not our choice but God's choice for us. We did not choose to have Leah born this way. I love what Jim Elliott said years ago before he was martyred for his faith, "God always give his best to those who leave the choice with Him". We often like to think we are in control and that we can orchestrate our lives the way we want. Having a baby like Leah born is a reminder that God is sovereign. God's plan and purpose in Leah's life and death may not ever be fully realized until heaven but we know that He used her to change our hearts and impact many, many people's lives.

I know as time goes on and we move further away from this day certain memories will fade. Pain and grief over our loss will get easier. Forever, though, we will carry little Leah Grace in our hearts. She was greatly loved and will be greatly missed.

3 Months Old

Leah is 3 months old today! It is such a miracle that she is here. She is special, beautiful, sweet, wonderful, precious -- every adjective that can describe a delightful baby applies to her. Her preciousness lies in the fact that every day of her life is a special gift from a loving heavenly Father who has not answered our whys or miraculously healed her but gives strength each day to her parents who care for her. I admire Luke and Kristine through this whole time so very much. To say this is probably the most difficult circumstance they will ever face is probably an understatement. I know it is their faith and trust in God that carries them through. It will change them forever. It will have a great impact in their lives personally and their marriage together. I pray for them daily as they continue to love and care for little Leah. I wish I was more free to help and always have the feeling that the little I can do is never enough. But everytime I hold her and she is between seizures and intently looks at my face, I feel the delightful bond of being so glad I am her grandma and have this time with her. So now we have the joy of celebrating 3 months with my precious granddaughter!

Staycation

I love staycations. They are vacations where you stay home. Now one must not do the normal things that you do at home on a staycation. Keeping the same schedule and busyness is no vacation. No, a staycation must be carefully planned. As much as possible the week must be wiped clean of typical activities. No cleaning, cooking, or running the typical errands. I have had on my calendar for sometime now that this week is a staycation. One of my daughters is gone all week and I've just felt the need for a break. My life has been very busy of late and the list of things I'd like to do is beginning to grow long. Notice it's the list of what I'd 'like' to do. It's not what I must do week in and week out. The problem now is that the list has grown too long and I cannot accomplish it all in one week. Prioritizing and planning will be the key to feeling like my staycation is a success. Stay posted and I'll document my staycation on this blog.

Bird Watching

I love to watch birds. This started when I was pretty young. I remember watching for hours a robin build a nest outside my bedroom window and loving the process of two robins raising their young all within 15 feet of my window. I used to keep a journal of new or unusual bird sightings. My bookshelf still contains a number of bird enthusiast books. I don't take as much time now to watch the birds but hopefully someday there will be a slower paced life and I will once again return to the joy of birdwatching. I think there are lessons to learn from the bird world. Right now I have a robin who has built her nest in a tree outside my studio window and the view of all the workings of raising a family is in plain sight. With robins, at least in the beginning it seems that the mother bird does most of the work. She builds the nest, she sits those long days on those precious eggs. When she does leave the nest for a quick bite to eat, I've noticed the father bird lands on the edge of the nest, but he does not take over keeping the eggs warm. He seems to cock his head from side to side, viewing the eggs, almost as if he's wondering what they are! He may not seem like a very active participant or maybe he is having difficulty attaching to something that is just this round blue object at this point, but he is the protector. If a scrub jay ventures too near he is the first to sound the alarm and rush at his blue predator with a great clamor. Scrub jays are notorious for wiping out robins nests so it's no wonder father bird sounds such alarm. When those chicks finally arive then father bird will get busy. It will seem like there is no end to the feeding, keeping the nest unfouled, and teaching those little ones where the best worms are. A robin's young always seem to leave the nest much too early. They cannot fly and so they hop around chirping to keep mom and dad informed as to where they are and doubtless every other predator like all our cats, some of which seem to have a fond taste for 'baby bird'. One would think that very few baby robins make it to adulthood and I'm sure the mortality rate is high. That's why robins have several batches of young every year. They know the odds of some making it will be greater if they have 2 or 3 nests with 3 or 4 young in each. Sometimes as a parent I forget that a mom and dad's role are different. Usually the mom is more nuturing, more hands on, she usually is the one that puts in all the hours of care. The father's role is often more the provider and protector. I think just as God made it that way in robins He designed our families to function best fulfilling the role we've been given. So next time I'm stewing about all the time I put in taking care of things around the house and my children, I'll remember the robins outside my window and the joy of seeing their family grow and take wings of their own.

In Honor of Mother's Day

It's mother's day. One of the best days for me. Most years my family pampers me. My husband makes dinner, the kids buy gifts (gone are the days when they used to make a paper gift, or color something) and we have a great day together. I can't remember a bad mother's day. I suppose some years it hasn't lived up to my expectations, or I ended up doing the dishes, or one of the kids wasn't around. This year my oldest daughter is missing. I would like it if all my kids just lived down the street all their lives and dropped in for tea, a movie, or just to hang out. Even though that's what I'd like, especially on mother's day, what really is most important to me is that all our children are first and foremost followers of Christ. So if that means that they must live away and minister or serve God in another part of the world then ultimately that's what I also want for their lives. My oldest daughter is in Hawaii and will be off on a mission trip soon. She may end up being gone for 8 months and be in parts of the world that I have no idea what it even looks like. She won't be down the street. She won't be dropping by. Yet she is following Christ with all her heart and that's what really matters. So even though I may have a meal made for me, or a gift or two to open, the best mother's day is knowing my children know the Lord and that their desire is to serve him wherever they may be.

Weeds of Life

There are weeds in everyone's life. In the spring of life they start to work there way up through the soil of our years. At first it's almost inperceptible, but given time, a lot of time, they can become a jungle.

When spring arrives and the ground is still wet from all the winter rains, it's so easy to pull the weeds. They usually come up root and all. When the ground becomes dry and hard, it becomes a much more difficult task.

There seems to be a dirrect corolation to life and weeds. When the weeds in our life appear; the bad habits, those seemingly insignificant sins; it's easy to pull them up, the roots are shallow, the ground is soft. If we ignore the weeds they have time to develop root systems that can go so very deep. Some send out runners which lead to more weeds developing. Others reach the point where their seeds can be scattered with the slightest breeze or disturbance. Sin that becomes entrenched in our life is hard to battle and overcome just like the weeds. If we only realized this when we were young, our weeds wouldn't be so difficult to deal with now that age and time has allowed them to become prolific.

Sometimes what's seen on the surface conceals the deep root system that is below the ground.

There are weeds in my life that I wish I would have pulled years ago. Now the roots are deep and when they do come out it takes effort, it hurts, and it leaves a hole in my life.

Some weeds need a tool to get them out of the ground. Sometimes the weeds in our lives need some outside help for us to clear them away. This may be simply confessing and acknowledging that they exist. It may be that we need some accountability with someone to help us rid ourselves of the weed infestation. Some just need a handspade, others will need a shovel or maybe even a backhoe! It's a constant battle during the whole growing season to stay ahead of the weeds.

It's sometimes easy to mistake a weed for a wanted plant. Just recently I pulled what I thought was a weed only to discover it was a herb in my herb garden. Recognition takes experience and practice. The eyes of a master gardener pointing out the weeds can be of great help. As I've gotten older, I think I recognize more weeds in my life. I'm not as arrogant about life as I was when younger. I see things from a different perspective. I know the damage a weed does and I know the pleasure of a healthy garden. Every year I strive to be a better gardener and immulate the greatest master gardener -- my loving heavenly Father.

Challenges of Change

I've never been a big fan of change. Change usually means upsetting the balance of things. Sometimes it's okay. But sometimes it involves too much stretching physically, emotionally and becomes overwhelming. My life seems to be in the overwhelming stage right now. There's my new little granddaughter, Leah Grace, born alive and with great physical difficulties and most likely a very shortened life span. My oldest daughter leaves tomorrow for 6 months. Another daughter just moved back to the area (a good change). I'm still struggling with eye sight issues. I'm not complaining, well maybe a little, but I feel out of balance. There's a numbness that has set in like I'm watching my life instead of involved in it. I know balance will return. Sleepless nights will again become restful as I readjust to change. Often change is what spurs us on to greater growth. We learn to trust our heavenly Father more. We realize who is in charge -- and it's not us! Hopefully we become wiser and more mature. It still can be difficult -- this change. In a few weeks, no doubt, I'll have settled back to a new norm, a new routine and it will all be okay.

Precious Life

On Friday, March 20 at 2:37, Leah Grace entered the world. She is a precious gift from God. We now know that her brain development was not complete and her diagnosis is a severe form of holoprosencephaly. So far, all her time since birth has been spent in the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Vincent's hospital. The whole family has both rejoiced and grieved. We have rejoiced in the answer to our prayer that Leah Grace would be born alive and able to breathe on her own. We have rejoiced in being able to spend time with her, touching her, loving her, holding her. Her parents have shown such tenderness and love to her. Luke said to me the other day something to the effect of, "whatever her life may be, we will be happy to love and care for her". God has given us a gift of life in her that is not perfect, that may not be very long, and may be difficult when it comes to caring for Leah, but it is a wonderful gift. I am realizing with every passing moment spent with Leah, that life is so precious. Each breath is a gift; each cry, each yawn, every moment. I have a new perspective on the beauty of life by my time spent with Leah that I may not have been able to understand in any other way than through Leah's life. I do grieve some things. That her life span may be very short. She may not be able to come home In everything, though, I see God’s hand at work. He loves Leah the same as He loves me. As I look forward to a day in eternity when I will stand before Him complete and perfected, so Leah will also be made whole and complete. I have been greatly comforted by Psalm 139 verses 13 - 17. I have taken the I’s and me’s and put in Leah’s name.
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of Leah’s body and knit her together in her mother’s womb. ...You watched her as she was being formed in utter seclusion, as she was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw Leah before she was born. Every day of her life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about Leah, O God. They cannot be numbered."
Leah is a special precious gift!

The 5:00 Hour

It's the 5:00 hour. I'm sitting in the living room trying to finish a chapter in a book. Charissa and Callie are working on a puzzle right next to me and insistently rambling in quite loud voices any thoughts that enter their heads. Rick is in the kitchen starting some dinner while helping Sveta with some homework, both of them are talking and sometimes at the same time! Katie is stitting about 5 feet away practicing her violin. Warren is at the kitchen table on a laptop computer, flanked on either side by Sash and his friend German. They are all talking. Putting down my book, I suddenly think, "this is the the sound of my life". There's not a lot of silence much of the time. My home is still filled to the brim with family and they make a lot of noise (especially when Callie arrives)! Sometimes I long for escape to peace and quiet, but I know these days will come to an end. So be thankful now -- enjoy the chaos!

This is my newest kitty (who I am affectionately calling 'new kitty') just before 5:00. Ahh, the life of a cat!

New Year, New Perspective, New Hope

I've spent time today reading some of the top stories and looking at the news media's top photos of 2008. It seems we always get pretty nostalgic about the year just passing (hopefully we learn from the past). On the other side we wonder, wish, and dream about what may be ahead in 2009. So here on this last day of December 2008 I'm nostalgic and also thinking about the future. 2008 was a pretty good year. I have much to be thankful for. My family is all doing well, I have a great church family, my home is comfortable and definitely an extension of who I am, my business is doing well, and most important of all my relationship with God is growing.

Looking ahead to 2009 is pretty much looking into the unknown. I know very little about what will happen in my life in this next year. I can dream and plan. I can set goals and make efforts to accomplish them. But ultimately only God knows the path that lays ahead for me. Only He knows where I'll be by the end of 2009. Only He knows who will be born and who will die. This lack of control greatly affects my perspective. I can worry, fret and try to have control or I can trust, give thanks and watch what God does in 2009. Life is pretty much perspective. It is the judgment I make about facts and circumstances. It is my view of life. So what will my perspective be in this new year? I want it to be one of hope. Hope for the situations and circumstances God puts me in that I will not despair but trust in Him. As I have gotten older, I know with much more certainty that there is more than just this life. Eternity is a step nearer every day for me and more real in the sense of believing that what lies ahead is way better than what life is here and now. This life is merely a speck in view of eternity. So the hope I have for 2009 is that what I do may not always matter much in this life but it will matter in eternity.

Leah Grace

Children are a gift from God. He is the one who determines what our gift is. He marks out the days of each gift and has special plans for each gift. He loves his gifts so much. Luke and Kristine (my son and daughter-in-law) have a new gift on the way. But this gift is extra special. She is Leah Grace. She has been diagnosed with Trisome 13. This is an extra chromosone on the 13th segment. It is not compatable with life outside the womb at least not for very long. Her life may only exist here on this earth in the womb but she has a life in heaven that is for all eternity. We may know her for a very short time here but we will know her where there will be no end, for all time and eternity. There is sorrow for us here now but someday there will be joy. I have not really asked 'why' in this situation. As I get older I have come to realize that rarely ever does the 'why' get answered. We must trust in what we know about God. He is loving. He does not make mistakes. He has a plan even in pain. He has prepared an eternity that is even beyond all that we could imagine and we need to realize that true living is not here but in eternity. Jesus has shown us the way to eternal life when he said in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me".
I am trusting little Leah Grace into the best arms that could ever hold her -- into a loving heavenly Father's arms. That is comfort for me.

When God Makes a Choice For Our Lives

When I wrote the article on high cost choices and low cost choices, I was simply thinking about choices. We do make lots of choices and they have lots of consequences. But then there are those choices we don't make, God does. God chooses certain things for our lives and some of these are totally out of our control. It may be the death of someone we love. It may be the loss of a job or home that was out of our control. These are not easy for us -- we are human beings who love to be in control and resist continually God's control. When I was a young married woman I had plans for my life and family. I even went so far as to make a plan of when my kids would be born and how far apart each one would be. I felt I could control this (wow -- talk about arrogance)! After our first child was born we waited about 2 years and decided it was time for child number two. I got pregnant close to the planned month. 16 weeks into the pregnancy I had a miscarriage. I remember one night crying and almost shaking my fist at God and asking why. In the silence of my room I clearly heard these words, "it's hard to kick against the goads". I had no idea where that came from and it sounded vaguely like something from Scripture. I looked it up in the book of Acts. Paul in recounting the story of his conversion, said that Jesus said these words to him after asking him, "why are you persecuting me"? That's exactly what I was doing, kicking against the goads. A goad is a cattle prod used by herders to move the cattle in a certain direction that the person wants them to go. They have a sharp spike at the end that doesn't probably feel to great to the cow that is being directed by it if that animal wants to go in a different direction. I was thinking I had a choice in all this but God had other ideas. Instead of submitting to His plan, I was kicking against that sharp pointed stick. I learned a huge lesson (but one I've had to repeat learning over and over again). Sometimes we do make a choice but many times God makes the choice for us. How do we respond? We can submit or we can kick against the goad.

High Cost Choices -- Low Cost Choices

We all make a lot of choices in life. Some are high cost and some are low cost. Some of our high cost choices might be things like who we marry; where we live; what vocation we choose, etc. They effect us greatly and in fact determine much in our lives. Then there are the low cost choices. They might be things like; what we eat today, what we choose to wear, what color we paint our living room, which pair of shoes to buy, etc. They don't have that great of an impact on our lives and are fairly easy to change.
It would be wonderful if we could always put a choice into either one box or the other and then determine how much effort and thought should go into making that choice. Sometimes we mix up the value of choices. We put too much effort and consideration into a low cost choice and not enough consideration into a high cost choice. We end up scratching our heads and wondering how in the world did we ever get into this situation.
I think most of us get better at determining what kind of choice is before us as we age. Life teaches us what has value and what really doesn't matter. Unfortunately for most, the choices made in youth often are the high cost choices and affect the rest of our lives. That's where knowing and believing in a God who forgives and extends grace to all of us is a great comfort. Some of my choices can't be undone. But I can see God's grace and His ability to use even what I only valued as a low cost choice when in reality it was high cost to shape and mold me and use all my choices to ultimately bring glory to Himself.

My Conviction About Adoption

I wanted to post a document I wrote a couple years ago about my convictions about adoption. I still feel strongly about this subject matter and love the stories that illustrate my convictions. The Scripture that is at the start of the article is God's Word that spoke very clearly to me in 2005 about proceeding in our attempt to adopt. So here it is.

II Thessalonians 1:11-12
'To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and that by His power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.'
God used this Scripture to convey the following as it relates to our adopting children:
This is a good purpose that we have set out to do.
This is an act that has been prompted by faith.
Our desire is that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in us and we in Him. (Whatever the outcome, whatever the circumstances, no matter how difficult.)

From the book ‘Into the Arms of Strangers’ by Mark Jonathan Harris and Deborah Oppenheimer
‘Then the door opened, and there stood this little lady, barely taller than myself. Her hat sat all askew on her head, and her mackintosh was buttoned up all wrong. She peered at me from behind a big pair of glasses. Suddenly, her face broke into the most wonderful smile, and she ran to me and hugged me, and spoke to me words I did not understand then, but they were, ‘You shall be loved.’ And those were the most important words any child in a foreign land, away from her family, could hear. And loved I was.
It was much later, when I was grown up really, and interested in the background of the transports, that I asked my foster-father, Daddy Rainford -- they asked me to call them ‘Mummy Rainford’ and ‘Daddy Rainford’ -- why they had chosen me to be in their family. He answered, ‘I knew I could not save the world. I knew I could not stop the war from starting. But I knew I could save one human life. And as Chamberlain broke his pledge to Czechoslovakia, and as Jews were in the greatest danger, I decided it must be a Czech Jewish child.’

I know we can not save all the children in the world. What we attempt to do seems to make such a small difference but it makes a world of difference for those one or two that we ‘save’. When you look at all the children in the world who are in need of a family to love them I think saving a child from some of the darkest places in the world is something important for us to do. Russia is a place that most do not know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Most children there will never hear the gospel. Seeing a child taken from that country and hopefully respond to the gospel -- who knows what spiritual impact that may have on a whole country!
In the light of all humanity, it seems like adopting a child or two is a very small thing.

From the magazine, Mission Maker 2005, Article Lord of the Slums, Section 4 by Scott Bessenecker.
The Power of Justice
‘Summer heat in Cairo can be unforgiving. When that heat combines with the smells in the garbage village, zeal quickly melts into lethargy. I remember climbing the hill to the monastery where we lived inside this garbage-collecting community. Next to me, a team of donkeys suffered under an impossible load of garbage, struggling to reach the crest of the hill. Atop the garbage, the donkey-cart driver urged the beasts forward with a whip. My daughter Hannah, who has a huge heart for animals, looked at me with pleading eyes as the tormented donkeys struggled up the hill. As much as I felt sorry for myself, panting up the hill in 110-degree heat, I began to have compassion for the donkeys. Why, I wondered. These aren’t soul-bearing creatures. They live to serve. What could I do anyway? I couldn’t relieve their plight any more than I could relieve my own misery, climbing that insufferable hill.
Step by sweaty step we pressed on. My conscience and my daughter continued to trouble me. Finally, I gave in. Without a glance backward from the donkey-cart driver (nor, do I guess, much noticeable relief for the donkeys). I shouldered the back of the garbage cart and began to push. What good is it, I wondered, to add to my suffering only to give some inconsequential relief to these beasts, without the owner’s thanks? Still I kept pushing.
At the top of the hill, I turned right toward the monastery and the donkeys turned left. Immediately, I came upon Romany, sitting in his usual spot outside his butcher shop. He was waiting for enough business to justify slaughtering another pig. Every day we stepped through the blood and entrails that flowed in little rivers down the hill outside Romany’s butcher shop. Romany, a Coptic Christian, had been a good friend to our team and me since we arrived in the garbage village.
As I passed, Romany said three words that have changed my life. He said. "God saw that." I had not been aware of Romany’s watchful eye from his perch atop the hill. He wanted to remind me that to serve the suffering counts in God’s eyes. Acts of justice and mercy do not go unnoticed by everyone -- God sees. How much more is that true when we seek the justice of people made in God’s image, in the midst of their suffering.
For many evangelicals in the West, personal holiness has been the focus of spirituality. Sin becomes a highly personalized issue to be addressed only by the sinner. Righteousness is considered in individualist terms. Worship is centered on my actions: Have I read my Bible? Did I hurt anyone in my thoughts words, or deeds? But in Scripture, personal and social righteousness and justice are inextricably linked: :Away with the noise of your songs? It will not listen to the music of your harps. but let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!" (Amos 5:24). Leaving concern for justice out of our lives invalidates our worship. To focus on the personal to the exclusion of the social is not biblical.
In his book Good News About Injustice, Gary Haugen substantiates the fact that confronting social evil is the thoroughly biblical calling of those who follow Christ. God gives power, not for personal aggrandizement, but as a trust to utilize on behalf of those who have none.’
My desire is to live my Christian life with those words, ‘God saw that’ written over everything I do. Many things of our life are hidden things, only God sees. But our acts of mercy and justice that are extended even to the ‘least of these’ is our worship to God and He delights in that."

From the magazine, Mission Maker 2005, Article Lord of the Slums, Section 6 by Scott Bessenecker.
Life Lessons from the Garbage Heap
"A month in the Egyptian garbage community in Cairo gave me new eyes. Things that at first repulsed me became quite normal. The hot, passionate desperation I felt toward the conditions in the garbage village gradually cooled to a settled comfortableness. But poverty confused me. Is life lived on sorted trash okay? Maybe the life of a garbage collector is not so bad. The people in the community seem fairly content with life. Besides, the conditions are likely not much different from life in medieval Europe -- probably better. Should I encourage foreigners to come into such places as agents of change, especially rich, North Americans?
I wrestled with God, Is it a mistake to call workers with notions of transformation to long-term residency in slum communities? Might it only bring Western standards of housing and cleanliness to people who are just fine with things as they are? After all, slum dwellers have their own culturally defined norms for quality of life.
"Oh God" I prayed, "if you want me to call people to lives of sacrifice and to catalyze change, then you’ll have to convince me. By the way, " I added, "could you answer me in the next forty-eight hours, before we leave this place?"
Several hours later, I dreamed about the dung truck. I always smelled the dung truck before I saw it. The smell became a taste at the back of my throat: pasty and bitter. The dung truck driver hauls away the accumulated animal waste from the ground level of houses and from animal pens both inside and outside of homes.
The dung haulers shovel dung into large wicker baskets, then carrying the baskets on their shoulders or heads, they walk up a plank ramp and dump the contents into the back of a flat-bed truck. In the process, these men become caked in dung from head to foot. High temperatures, over one hundred degrees, release the dung’s pungent odor, making this task more intense than someone reading this in comfort can appreciate.
In my dream, I walked past a dung truck. To my horror, I saw my children -- Hannah, Philip, and Laura -- sitting on top of the mountain of dung heaped on the truck bed. Amazingly, even with every inch of their bodies covered by animal waste, they appeared perfectly content sitting on the dung.
I felt the Lord ask," As their father, are you satisfied? Even if the children are satisfied, are you satisfied?"
I still sift through the meaning of that dream but it immediately implied that a child’s contentment with a saturation does not always reflect a father’s heart. The father yearns for so much more for his children.’

This story has illustrated to me how easy it is for us to think, "they are okay with their situation so why shouldn’t I be okay with it". We have a God who is "not willing that any should perish".
That must be my focus on all of life too. What can I do to be God’s tool to save one from perishing. Will this be the hardest thing we have ever done? Probably. But I know God is with us and goes ahead of us every step of the way.